US jokes

What’s the difference between a chicken and an orphan?

The chicken is actually used for something.

pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.

passengers: *start freaking out*

pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.

passengers: *sigh with relief*

pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.

This isn’t a joke. Quiet kid jokes are so cliché. Like since when was there an original quiet kid joke like smh. Doesn’t help because I’m a quiet kid and people act as if I’m so dangerous and it’s like the only thing they say to me. Being judged as some big bad monster for being AN INTROVERT!! These jokes used to be funny to me, but now I’m just sick of them...

If God didn’t mean for us to have sex with 11-year-old girls, why did he make them so sexy and so much physically weaker?

Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.

What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?

There used to be two, now it’s a sensitive subject.

Why are vegetarians so good at giving head? Because they’re used to having nuts in their mouth.

Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.

What does a disabled disco play?

"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."

What's the difference between an orphan and a pencil?

People actually have a use for one of them.