Up and down jokes

Me and my mom order Chinese food.

My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."

Jimmy asks an elevator operator what he thinks of his job.

The operator shrugs and says, "It has its ups and downs!"

I caught my sister licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that for?" She replied, "I'm doing it for practice for your friends."

There's two types of emo people:

1. People that cut side to side.

2. And people that cut up and down.

The most efficient is up and down.

What bumps up and down at 100km an hour?

A baby tied to the back of a speeding truck.

What goes up and down but stays in the same place?

Stairs.

What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour?

A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck.

Life has ups and downs, and they had downs.

What's simultaneously up and down?

A retard on a plane.