Things jokes
"The truest things ARE the funniest things."
-Lollipop from JacknJellify, the BFDI series.
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.
The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”
The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”
So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?
One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments.
What's one thing a homing missile can't kill?
An orphan.
What is the same thing between water and dark jokes?
Not everyone gets it!
I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.
When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".
I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!
I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.
(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)
(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)
(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)
Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.
MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.
Bro, if you think about it, your mom and God have one thing in common... They're both big.
I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
The last thing the victims were thinking was, "Is there 9 or 11 stories?"
Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?
Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.
Tell it to your parents and friends!
It would be pretty funny if something that's not a joke was the most liked thing. It would be pretty funny, I think, lol. Just a little funny, lol.
What is the only thing lesbians know how to grow? Cucumbers.
When I hotline bling, I only need one thing.
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
What do emos and ninjas both have in common? They both hide and cut things.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
My grandmother made her passage on the Titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.