Their jokes
Want to know what I do in my freetime?
Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?
Why does China have the biggest eyewear?
Because all their eyes are too small.
A teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favorite football team is, saying, "Raise your hand if it is Scunthorpe." Every student but one raised their hand. The teacher asks, "Why don't you support Scunthorpe?" The child answers, "My parents support Grimsby, and so do I." The teacher comes back with, "Why are you copying your parents? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" The child answers, "Then I'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards!"
Why can't orphans stand Darth Vader?
Because he's their father.
Why are orphans lucky?
Because they can get in trouble and nobody can tell their parents.
What do rapists like to suck?
The life out of their victim.
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.
What is a cannibal's favorite place to go? An orphanage. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
How to make an orphan's hands hurt: Make them clap their hands till their parents come back.
How do adults like their cookies like their orphans?
Homemade.
Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.
Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to find their dad again.
Guys, this has to stop. Let's tell their parents. Oh wait...
Why do emos get discounts at every shop? Because they have barcodes on their wrists.
What do orphans have in common with mute children?
They can't talk to their parents.
A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"
The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."
The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
I kept asking these kids where their parents are, and they started crying. I walked away laughing, thinking I love my job at an orphanage.
God, I love telling children their parents love them, but only on April Fools'. They're orphans, after all.
Why are orphans always so successful? Because when they're told "go big or go home," they only have one option.