The jokes
The fish swam in litter and oh, dam!
Why was the Cheetah not allowed to do tests?
Because it always cheated.
Why did the cheetah go to school?
To be a cheetah.
Little Johnny is in class one day, and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says, "What's so funny?" He said, "I can see your bra strap." The teacher says, "Don't come back to class for a week," so he gets up and walks out. A few minutes later, little Billy starts laughing, and she asks, "What's funny now?" Little Billy said, "I can see both of your bra straps." The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom for a month." So little Billy got pissed, he walked out and slammed the door. This scared the teacher, and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up, then she stood back up, and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked, "Where do you think you're going?" He said, "Well, teach, after what I saw, I'm done with school for a lifetime."
If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.
You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
What’s the only long-lasting thing from China?
Covid.
Why was the barber mad because I gave him a buzzcut?
Me and your mom in the bed.
Your eyebrows could make the bushes outside feel jealous.
What borders on stupidity?
Scotland and the EU.
Simpsons.
Meet the Simpsons.
They're the greatest modern family.
From the town of Springfield.
They're a page right out of history.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? The Wall was their last big hit.
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common?
Their last big hit was "Fire on the Mountain."
The thing about 9/11 and the jokes about it, for most people it flew over their head, for some it flew into their head.
Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"
Girlfriend: "No."
Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"
Teacher: Tell me a moral story.
Little Johnny: Once my grandfather was in WW2. He saw everyone praising to kill him. For example, we should sneak up and kill him. We get the helicopter above and shoot him from there. My grandfather heard this, he got his gun and shot them all.
Teacher: What is the moral even?
Little Johnny: Never plan to kill my grandfather.
My gardener found a dead body. Of the old gardener!
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who made it to the floor first?
The leaf. The emo kid was caught on a rope.