The jokes
Little Johnny was in class, and his teacher asked, "How many of you guys are Trump fans?" Since the entire class wanted to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands, well, except Little Johnny. So the teacher asks, "Why are you being different again, Johnny?" So Little Johnny says, "Well, because I'm a Democrat. My mom is a Democrat, and my dad is a Democrat, so I'm a Democrat!" So then the teacher responds with, "Well, what if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?" Well, Little Johnny says, "A Trump fan!"
What's the difference between orphans and apples? Apples get picked.
Ever heard of the game T.T.2: 9/11? That game was bomb.
Why is Bill the bad guy?
Monica wanted to suck dick.
How do you fuck a cow?
Find the nearest Karen.
What did the other wave say to the other wave?
"Nothing, they just waved!"
How old are 9/11 victims?
"There, toddlers, here come the airplane!"
Yo mom's so fat that she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
Why didn't R. Kelly go to Germany to fuck teens? The legal age there is 14...Like bro hop on a plane and fuck a 14 year old hooker!
How do you f**k a sheep?
Put your d**k in it and face it off the cliff edge. It'll keep going backwards as you push forwards.
What hates socialism but still uses roads, police, and says they support the military?
Dumb right wingers.
Why are there no Jamaicans on the moon?
Because there's no space jam.
Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents were taken, so he shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: "Can I play with your bellybutton? My mom always lets me when we camp." So the teacher says: "Sure." 5 minutes later the teacher says: "Woah, woah, woah that's not my bellybutton!" Little Johnny says: "Woah, woah, woah, that's not my finger."
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
I was in Russia at a stand-up comedy performance about someone making fun of Putin, but the jokes were awful. The execution was nice, though.
Your mama's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.
You are so fat Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix it!" LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Why did the chicken cross the road?
What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?
One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.
Q: Why did the student eat his homework?
A: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!