The jokes

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin' hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.

I took the trash to the recycling bin, and two days later, my mom asked me, "Where's your sister?" I said, "In the recycling line to be turned into a bottle."

What is the difference between orphans and serial killers?

Serial killers are wanted.

Your momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her because they thought they missed the bus.

Milk makes you tall, right?

Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?

My son got in trouble for writing the following underneath the question “Do aliens exist?”

“Of course they do! They live in Mexico!”

We need to stop with all the discrimination here! I don’t discriminate! I love all races, even the bad ones, I’m a fan of all genders, even the fake ones, and am a fan of all nationalities, even the alien kinds.

A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)

Yo momma so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the floor cracked up.

I told my girlfriend that the world is flat.

She said, "but the world is round."

I said, babe, you are my world.

What's the difference between a dad and the Twin Towers? The Twin Towers went black and never came back, and the dad was black and just didn't come back.

What hit the floor first, the emo or the apple? The apple, the rope stopped the emo.