The jokes
You're so fat that when you went sunbathing at the beach, Greenpeace came along and pushed you back in the ocean.
What's the difference between Obama and Trump?
Obama was a president and Trump was a whiny bitch!
Trump likes to grab 'em by the pussy. Putin likes to grab them by their tiny hands.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill’s candy, but Jack had a shock with a mouth full of cock cause Jill’s real name was Randy.
With a tight cheeked fanny and shlong expandy, Jack’s face turned uncanny. Off he ranny to tell granny his best friend was a tranny.
How was the slice of cheese 🧀 doing in the kitchen?
Cheddar!
Why do the twin towers and my mom have in common? They fell over.
My sister thinks she's so smart and funny. The only thing that is funny is her face.
What did the dad say when he left the lollipop store?
"Cya suckers!🍭"
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an airplane landing strip? Don't know, neither did my dad.
Yo... Kobe, you're going down man. Did you forget the low grade fuel?
(Pick-up line) If your tits are the Twin Towers... can I be your Osama?
What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.
Little Johnny was late to school one day, and Miss Brown asks, "Johnny, how come you're late to class?" And Johnny says, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and started fucking the white cow." Miss Brown said, "Johnny, don't use that word. Next time you want to say that, use the word 'surprised'."
The next day Johnny was late again, and Miss Brown said, "Johnny, why are you late?" And Johnny replied, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and 'surprised' the white cow." Miss Brown said, "That's much better, Johnny." And Johnny said, "Yeah, walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one."
How do you know an abo robbed your house?
The bins (trash cans) are empty and the dog is pregnant.
Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
What did the floor say to the ceiling?
"I look up to you."
I'm having lunch on the roof of the Twin Towers, and the biggest plane I've ever seen is flying toward...
What are the similarities between orphans and unripe strawberries?
None of them get picked.
Why can't a Leicester fan pull girls? He can only do the fox trot.
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."