The jokes
Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:
Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"
The day I saw people asking Lebron James whether he liked to play basketball, my thoughts be like: wait, so Lebron James is gay cuz he likes to play with them balls.
Yo yo Zac, have you Amber HEARD about the Johnny Depp case? ARRRRRRRRRRR!
Why did he go to the chiropractors?
To get his spine fixed.
Why does Aaron eat burgers on a Wednesday? Because his spine is bent, and his favorite gun in Apex Legends is the G7 Scout, and he uses the speedy Spanish man.
What did the emo kid say to the other?
"I like ya cut, G."
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
Why’d the chicken cross the road?
To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!
“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”
When they said Titanic was "unsinkable," then they said, "The World Trade Centers was uncollapsible."
People on the Titanic were cracking up at my jokes, so did the Titanic. No, really, the Titanic cracked in half!
I scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now I own her, only 3.99 with tax. That's a steal and a half, woopeeee!
How do you get into Hogwarts? Through the Dumble Door.
What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?
Her dad always comes back.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple...
An apple has a family tree.
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?
A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.
Little Johnny was told by his friend that if you go to your parents and say: "I know the truth," they give you money.
So Little Johnny says to his mum, "I know the truth," so his mum hands him 20 dollars and tells him not to tell anyone. So when Little Johnny’s dad gets home, Little Johnny says, "I know the truth." His dad hands him $50 and says not to tell anyone. So Little Johnny tries it on the postman and says, "I know the truth," and the postman says, "Come here, son."
It's been an hour since I crashed the tower.
Dear disabled people, just go to the settings and enable it!
There is no "W" in the word "Africa," just like there is no water.