The jokes
Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.
What is the sweat between Dolly Parton's boobs?
Mountain Dew.
I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.
The first orphan joke be like: What does the orphan not have?
A family.
How do you know you are blessed by God?
You don’t laugh at, make light of, or enjoy the evils and suffering people are inflicting on themselves and upon each other.
When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?
Fun fact: Most of the black holes in the universe are found in Africa!
Yo mama so ugly, she made the band One Direction go the other direction!
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.
The next day I saw a dead orphan.
What’s the best form of contraception?
Being a soccer fan.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because dad never came back with the milk.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Yo forehead is so big, Albert Einstein couldn’t figure out the measurement of it!
Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.
The teacher asks, "Who is a Trump fan?" Everyone in the class, wanting to be liked by their teacher, all put their hands up, except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, why are you being different again?" Little Johnny says, "Because I'm not a Trump fan." The teacher asks, "Why are you not a Trump fan?" and Little Johnny says, "Because my dad's a democrat and my mum's a democrat so I'm a democrat." And then his teacher says, "So if your dad was an idiot and your mum was a moron, what would that make you?" And Little Johnny replies, "A Trump fan."
What did the magician do as a trick in his show?
Make your doubts about magic... DISAPPEAR!
Why did Hitler kill himself? He knew the war was over at the beginning.
What’s the difference between an orphan and cotton? One gets picked.
Why did the son go to the store?
To find his dad.