The jokes

Why was the rapper always in good shape?

Because he dropped the mic and picked up weights!

What's the difference between life and a rape joke?

Life fucks you until you stop breathing, a rape joke fucks you until it's not funny anymore.

A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.

His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"

The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."

What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?

Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.

The gayest person on Earth is Pac-Man.

You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.

How does the cop respond to being called racist?

He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."

What does Can do after eating its vegetables?

Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.

I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.