The jokes
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
What’s the hardest part about being a PEDO?
Fitting in.
My cousin really loves baseball.
He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.
What does the long distance call and a Black person have in common?
They both don’t work.
The first time riding my bike was a lot like my first time having sex.
It was hot. I was sweaty, but my sister had her hands on my shoulders all the time.
What do orphans and garbage have in common?
They’re both in the street, and no one wants to pick them up.
What is the difference between a broom and a mop?
It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.
What is the worst part about making an Asian girl squirt?
She charges you for extra sauce!
What’s the difference between the way you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we look through.
Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.
Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"
If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.
If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.
Because of all the rampant inbreeding in America, it's not a surprise that Hollywood had to poach models, comedians, and actors from Canada and Australia.
The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.
I don’t know if Jesus was black or white, but I know he for sure wasn’t Asian because people wouldn’t ask him to take the wheel.
What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
What’s the difference between video games and my dad?
My dad doesn’t beat me.
The USA guaranteeing freedom of speech is the biggest joke I've heard... Tell that to the people who were almost killed because their cars had "NASCAR Sucks" and "Country and Western is rubbish" on them!
Yo Mama's so fat... whilst she was walking the streets of London, she accidentally bumped into someone, and that someone yelled, "Stupid American!"