The jokes
Why can the orphan only buy 1 ice cream cone?
He can't afford a family pack.
Why did the doctor turn down the orphan?
He was a family physician.
I hope you get raped by a chimp in the forest
Why can Asian people buy phones?
'Cause they might call the wrong number.
Why can't the orphan eat Doritos?
They were all family sized!
Why can't the orphan eat Doritos?
They were all family sized.
Violence is never the answer:
It's the solution.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
My dad didn't beat the cancer.
Why can’t orphans use a phone? Because they can't find the home button.
I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a touchy subject.
Why can't orphans see their parents?
Because they don't have one!
Why was the noble gas not emo?
Because they were thinking RIGHT.
What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Your hairline is so far back that it killed the dinosaurs.
Fruit punch sounds like the name of a gay boxer.
What's the difference between the Leaning Tower of Pisa and the Twin Towers?
The Leaning Tower of Pisa has better reflexes.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One is always picked.
Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, "To Be Continued."
A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.
The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"
Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"
Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"