The jokes

Can you imagine what was the last thing that went through their brains?

The knee caps.

I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.

I was at the beach today, and there was a big wave.

Somebody went, "Damn, that crashed harder than the Twin Towers." Jack may have survived the towers, but not the crash.

After the school shooting, Joe pretended to be a victim while his sister ate the flesh of the fallen.

Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?

He's all right now.

Raaj went up to his mom and said, "I bet you 10 dollars I can disappear." Then he turned off the lights.

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  • Friend: What are you doing?

    Me: Putting peanut butter on my balls.

    Friend hears in the distance, "Orphans, I have food for you!"

    God, those orphans were putting up such a fight, I had to lock 'em in the basement.

    A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.

    After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.

    “Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.

    The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”

    Why do orphans only have 363 days of the year?

    Because they don't have a Mother's and Father's Day.

    I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.

    Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

    Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.

    Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.

    Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.

    What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.