The jokes
So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?
This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.
So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."
Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."
Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"
Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"
The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"
What is gayer than man sex ring?
Not slapping the ass at Hooters.
Why do eight-year-old girls wear panties with flowers on?
In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there.
What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?
"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."
I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.
Why do orphans hate cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call the musical kid who is very aware of his surroundings?
C sharp minor.
I ate the Emo Emo no Mi from One Piece. It gave me the powers of black hair, depression, and suicidal thoughts.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?........... The apple gets picked.
Why were the Twin Towers upset? Because they ordered pepperoni and cheese pizza, but instead got plain!
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA because all the black guys are playing.
What did the female rapist say at her hearing?
"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"
I said something in your ear, and then it echoed because of the size of your forehead because your brain [is] small.
This isn’t a joke. Quiet kid jokes are so cliché. Like since when was there an original quiet kid joke like smh. Doesn’t help because I’m a quiet kid and people act as if I’m so dangerous and it’s like the only thing they say to me. Being judged as some big bad monster for being AN INTROVERT!! These jokes used to be funny to me, but now I’m just sick of them...
Joel isn’t a joke, he’s the embodiment of perfection.
I got kicked out of the library for putting a book about women's rights in the fantasy section.
What happened when the corn got scolded? He got an earful!
Me when the your, uh, uhhhh, when your me when the your, uhhh, uhhhhh, mom.
Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.