The jokes
Your hairline looks like the Batman symbol.
Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.
The jury: O.o
Me: *gets down on one knee*
Girlfriend: OMG, it's finally happening!
Me: *falls over*
Girlfriend: The poison is kicking in.
"the floor is lava!"
- everyone, Pompeii 79 A.D.
Your hairline is so big even Dora the Explorer can't explore it!
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
A bath bomb.
[being buried alive]
Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?
Sorry, I got the joke wrong the first time.
Me running from the table where the Emos sit with a Happy Meal.
Me running from the table where the Emo table with a happy meal.
Who was in Paris?
I dunno, the title was censored.
Germany is the best!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
Why do orphans die young?
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
I saw you when I got chance at the adoption center!
Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang a painting.
When I was born, I saw you at the adoption center alone.
That day your dad got milk. 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬
You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?
That one friend: 11 - T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.