The jokes
You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!
What were the balloon's last words to his Father?
"Watch me, Pop!"
Why does Michael Jackson like Chef Boyardee? He likes the little balls.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked, and the other doesn’t.
How did the orphan become famous?
By "go[ing] big or go[ing] home."
Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.
What’s the difference between a cow and 9/11?
A cow can’t be milked for 21 years.
What's long and black, the line to KFC.
The gayest person in the world is Pacman, because I can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.
I was at the orphan place, and I saw a kid crying. And I asked him where his parents are, and he fainted.
My mom loves balls.
But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.
Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.
What caused Captain Hook's death?
He accidentally used the wrong hand to wipe his ass.
Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?
Because the parents are in every episode.
doctor: you need to eat healthy.
me: no.
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.
me: oh my goodness.
doctor: in a plane crash.
me: that sounds unrelated.
doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" "At the butcher shop!"
What do you call security guards working outside of Samsung shops?
Guardians of the Galaxy. 🌌
The average stripper weighs 112 lbs.
According to the pole 💈.
So, a man goes to church and is dipped in water three times by a Priest as he says, "From now on your name is Michael, and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol."
Soon after, the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips the beer can in the water three times while saying, "From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol."