The jokes
I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.
Ur mama so fat that when she went to the ocean, all the whales started singing, "We are family," even knowing your fatter than me.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
To be wanted.
Some people put zodiacs on everything.
They said they couldn’t go to the party because of cancer.
Who did Michael Jackson want to be like? The man in the mirror.
Joseph Jackson wants Michael's kids to tour as the Jackson 3.
The twins ordered pepperoni, but they got plain.
What movie do orphans relate to the most?
- Home Alone
My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?
"Sum ting wong."
I went for a swim in the river that crosses Mexico, and I saw a Mexican, aka a wetback, swimming across. I asked, and he said, "I'm a wetback."
Why doesn't the U.S. Government play Clash of Clans?
Because they lost two towers already.
What is the email password of a black person?
"watermelon"
Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.
The only reason communism started was because God looked at your face.
Don’t make jokes about 9/11. My dad was the best Middle Eastern pilot.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but they only got the plane.
There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”
Suicide is just freedom, life is just full of pain... Sometimes if you're gone maybe somebody might notice. Feels like life is a maze and the only way to leave is the exit. Nobody notices your pain, your suffering, and that you try your best though everyone notices your mistakes. Life just feels like everyone hates you. Life for me is just faking smiles, I'm not sure how everyone lives such a good life.
What falls to the ground first if an apple and an emo kid fall from a tree?
The apple because the rope caught the emo kid.