The jokes
The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldn’t climb up the stairs to heaven.
Why did he quit the internet?
People kept on (rick) rolling him.
A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."
The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"
What's the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Q: How do you fit 4 gay men on a bar stool?
A: Flip the chair upside down.
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
Your hairline receded like the girls did after the party.
Your hairline is so far back, even the slaves can't plant that shit back.
What is the similarity between an orphan and the new Spider-Man movie, "There's No Way Home"?
Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.
Oh wait, I forgot.
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"
"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."
Why don’t pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.
He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked.
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.
Did you hear the news? Michael Jackson died because he choked on 7-year-old nuts and balls.
Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.
I got barred from Weight Watchers today.
It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.
You're so black, when you get near the sun, we go into a solar eclipse.