The jokes

Your hairline is so bad, the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.

What's the best thing you can do if you're feeling lonely?

Watch a scary movie. You won't feel lonely anymore.

My uncles like the moon.

He comes out at night.

Your hairline is so jacked up even the barber couldn't fix it.

Bro, your hairline is still missing. Even Dora the Explorer can't discover it!

Emo chick: "I wish I could feel dead inside!"

The kid named Dead: "😄😄😄"

Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.

During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: started to laugh and said, "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!

Why did the woman want a boyfriend at least 2 🦶 taller?

So she could feel like a little girl and fulfill her rape fantasy.

Who is the man behind all lives matter?

Michael Jackson.

Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a tomato?

The tomato gets picked.

Why was the Tower of Pisa always leaning?

Cuz it wanted better accuracy than the Twin Towers.

You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."

You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."

I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.

One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".

The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."

An Asian student was learning logarithm in class. He wrote down his name after the question. The teacher asked why. He replied, "My class ID is number 1."

Face the truth, Jake could have went on the door, but Rose wanted him to die.

"Joe Mama so fat she plays pool table the Earth."

Your mama is so fat, when her husband said, "Let's go to the Super Bowl," she bought a spoon.