The jokes

Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.

Oh wait, I forgot.

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"

"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."

During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.

He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple always gets picked.

I got barred from Weight Watchers today.

It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.

People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.

Yo mamma so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he was just asking her to get out the way.

Yo momma so fat, when she said, "Order in the court," she really meant burgers and fries.

Yo mamma so fat, she asked for a water bed, and they put a blanket over the Atlantic Ocean.

What did the orphan poker player say to the elder?

“Will you raise me?”