The jokes
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?
It has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple always gets picked.
What meme does an Emo hate the most?
"Happy Happy Joy Joy" Peter Griffin.
A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.
Great news for all Star Wars fans who can't wait until the next movie!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoMlJbLJHcg
How do you beat Hellen Keller in musical chairs?
You move the chairs.
What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”
Your momma is so old, when she went to the antique store, they wouldn't let her leave.
Your mom is so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
A prostitute can wash their crack and resell it.
You're so fat, the only thing you could be for Halloween is the Kool-Aid Man.
People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?
Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"
What happens when an emo goes to the grocery store? The cashier scans their wrist too.
Draco Malfoy had a wand fight in the bathroom.
Why was the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it wanted to look up a 10 year old girl’s skirt.
Why did the Twin Towers order from Just Eat?
They wanted some plane fries.
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
Where did Suzie go after the bombing?
Everywhere.
Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.
Son: Why?
Father: You’ll need them there.