The jokes
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."
When your little brother knocks your two Jenga towers you made with his toy airplane,
You: "Hey, stop trying to recreate the Twin Towers!"
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus? It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture.
Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.
Why did the orphan kill someone? Because it would make him wanted.
I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
Is laughing a problem?
Laughing at what?
I want to jump.
Jump—what?
Jump off the hook.
Want to hear a joke? Just look in the mirror!
Damn, that beat dropped harder than my grandma falling down the stairs.
Roses are red, violets are blue, by the way, I have the flu!
Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"
The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"
Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."
Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"
The child said, "A mistake."
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but I have the flu.
You were sad because your grandmother died.
The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
The apples get picked.
My cousin’s friend spelled “racist” wrong and when my cousin showed me, the first thing I said to my cousin’s friend is “Go to Grammarly. They REALLY teach you spelling.”
What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.