The jokes
When was the last time you saw yourself in the mirror?
The first time you have to do a full body workout in chess.
Why did the cheetah lose in chess? Because he played against cheetahs!
What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?
They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.
Why do animators like Christianity?
Because Jesus was the one who invented T-Pose.
If you're ever bored, try scaring the sh*t out of an Asian to see their eyes open for the first time.
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
I pulled a prank on my friend the other day. I painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping. Still had some extra space.
"I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He later told me it was the most violent book he'd ever read."
Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”
Dad: “Call me George.”
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure, it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?
Panera Sed!
What's the difference between a low tide and your hairline?
Nothing, they're both receding.
The optimistic midget's coffin was half full.
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
When you're in the World Trade Center and you connect to airplane wifi.
When you're in the World Trade Center and you connect to airplane wifi.
If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.