The jokes
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
One of them has a family tree.
What did the farmer say to the doll?
You death baby doll.
What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "You look drunk!"
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
Why does Michael Jackson like spaghetti? He likes the little meatballs.
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.
It was really heavy on me.
An orphan entered the high school for the first time. He has no knowledge of the school. He went to the secretary and asked where he shall go. The secretary then gave the orphan a schedule and said to the orphan, “Where is homeroom?” The secretary then asked which homeroom number he was assigned, and he said "1." The orphan then started to weep and said that his parents died right as he stole his first base in baseball.
Woman: A woman’s life is harder, there is menstruation, periods, birth...
Man: Men have to deal with women.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not the two Twin Towers.
Yo mamma so fat, when she tried to sit down the chair ran away.
Turn the comments into a school shootout ;)
You have two parts of [your] brain, "left" and "right". In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.
What kind of cold flu do the Japanese get? The Koflu.
1 like = 1 kid in the bed with me.
Why do orphans use water for cereal? Cause their dad never came back with the milk.