The jokes
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.
Yo momma's so fat, when she gets an abortion, she can feed the entire country of Africa leftovers.
1 like = 1 fetus donated to the soup kitchen.
What is the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
Suicide is just self-defense. You're killing the person that tried to kill you.
Flat girls be like, "I will have breasts in the future." This is to all the flat girls: you will never get it.
You're so fat when you walk into the mall, you *are* the mall.
"Poor old fool," thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink.
The gentleman asked, "So how many have you caught today?"
The old man replied, "You're the eighth."
Why were the Twin Towers afraid of the New York Jets?
Because they are afraid of the jet.
What did the Blonde say to the other Blonde?
They don’t know; they couldn’t figure out what to say.
How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?
Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.
I pushed the kid in the wheelchair down the hill, but before I did, I set his wheels on fire and called him "hot wheels."
I asked the orphan kid if his mom is hot. He just started crying.
When my friend fell, I didn't crack up, but the sidewalk did.
Why do people have a lot of money and they have to spend it on jewelry 24/7 all the time?
What is the point of buttchins?
To catch flies.
What is the difference between 9/11 and Clash Royale, lol?
Clash Royale still has a tower.
What's the difference between puppies and orphans?
Puppies actually get picked.
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
She keeps on running from the ball.
Man, your hairline is so bad it started from the beginning of the month to the end!