The jokes

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What animal can jump the highest?

Emo kids because once they go up they never come back.

I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"

I looked at you, and you were bald until I got slapped up by Will Smith to the back of your head and saw the Great Wall of China.

A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.

The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"

Sex is basically math. You add the bed. Subtract the clothes. Divide the legs to multiply inside.

I saw a monkey outside of school and said, "Look, a monkey!" I got expelled the next day.

I got in trouble at school today because I told the teacher at school with COVID to stay positive.

A woman is lying in bed after making love to her lover. After a moment, she starts to roll over, and in the process, she realizes that the spent condom is still inside her.

Worried, she wakes up her lover. She asks, “What should we do about this?” To which he replies: “Who was it?”

Q: What's the difference between rape and marriage?

A: With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman afterwards.

In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"

His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."

Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."

Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"

Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."

You learn from the best.

I joined an emo class today. The first lesson I learned was slice and dice and let it flow.

Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.

A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."