The jokes
Ben 10 and a disabled person are the same, but no aliens for the disabled person.
"Why couldn’t the DJ keep any of the fish he caught?
He kept dropping the bass."
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
Why did the dwarf laugh when he walked on the field?
The grass was tickling his balls.
1, 2, I have a gun.
3, 4, I am in a school.
5, 6, Everyone on the ground!
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower?
"Let's talk later, I need to catch a plane."
Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!
Every culture has weird food.
Australians eat vegemite. The British eat haggis. The French eat snails. The Chinese eat dogs. The Americans eat their young siblings' private parts.
What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?
There is none, they both go up in flames.
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultrygeist!
The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower?...
"Catch you later!"
The other day my wife told me to pass her her lipstick, but I accidently passed her a glue stick... she still isn't talking to me.
"I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo."
-Al Nassr owner
Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.
Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.
Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?
In hope to find a mummy.
Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest, they said they don't allow professionals.
Yo mama is so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
What did the evil chicken lay?
Deviled eggs.
Yo mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.