The jokes

A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.

I got sent to the principal's office for telling the kid in the wheelchair to stand up for himself.

What did I say to the bridge?

Bye, bridge.

My arm has a different texture than the rest of me, lol.

My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.

Just saw the news that Kobe passed. I guess there's a first for everything.

I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.

Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.

Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.

Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.

Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.

Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.

Your forehead is deeper than the ocean.

You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!

What's the difference between me and a hairdresser? We both cut too much.

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted.

Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.

Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.

What is an orphan’s least favorite song? "We are Family."

What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? "Family Guy."

What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? "Meet the Parents."

What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.

Next: Inappropriate Jokes

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.

What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.

Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.

Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?

When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"

Yo, forehead reflects projectiles just like the shield in Strike Force Heroes.

Call me an edgelord because I'm gonna impale myself on the edge of a spear.

Who is the definition of a natural-born cocksucker?

A bisexual male, a homosexual male, a bisexual female, or a heterosexual female?

A physically disabled heterosexual male.

Yo momma decided to go to KFC until she realized she had to share with her family, so she bought ten buckets and the cashier said, "Here is the receipt." Now yo momma got afraid of how much money she had to spend, despiting on how she spent more than Drake's net worth that he can even lend. She went back home seeing her family looking at her and the KFC, thinking that could be her rent, but the whole family dug into the food. By the second they see the plates empty and seeing the lazy mom steady, she ate so much she wasn't ready until she fell, which caused an earthquake, which made her go to jail, which caused her to be scary.

Yo momma's teeth so yellow, when she smiled at traffic, all the cars slowed down.

A cop saw an old lady carrying two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash.

"How did you get all this?" asked the cop.

"Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grabbed my hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that, nobody pees in my yard ever again."

The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?"

She said, "Not everybody paid."

What is the similarity of a bomb and a baby?

When you drop them both, everyone screams.