The jokes
Why can't Sally swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock, "Who's there?", not Sally.
Where did Sally go when the bombs dropped?
Everywhere.
A kid walks into the classroom on time.
What's the hardest part about being a paedophile?
Trying to fit in.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't.
Yo mama so dumb when the weather said "it's chili outside," she went inside a goal, small and a bowl.
Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.
What is the reason for why women never look to the right?
Because they don't have any rights.
Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.
They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.
Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.
Why did the chicken enter the cave?
Because it wanted to get to the Dark Side.
Why did the girl never go upstairs?
Because she had no legs.
Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms!
Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.
It is now known as Optimus Prime.
Sally fell off the swing.
Sally has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?
The top of the stairs.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
What do ambulances and gay men have in common? They both take it in the back and go whoop whoop! :D
A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.