The jokes
Vagina jokes aren't funny.
Most of the time.
What's the best part of having sex on a golf course?
The hole experience.
What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?
Nothing.
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.
One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."
The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."
The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have balls.
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel?
It is ground breaking!
Have you ever tried North Korean food?
Neither have the North Koreans.
What did Tennessee do?
The same thing Arkansas did.
What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.
What's the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
What's the best thing about abortion jokes?
They never get old.
What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
How do you know if your wife is dead?
Sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
How did the Java programmer's son get rich?
Because of inheritance.