The jokes
How do you start an Ethiopian rave?
Stick toast to the ceiling.
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.
What do you do after you eat the softest pussy in the world?
Put the diapers back on.
How long does it take to blow up a baby in the microwave?
I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate...
22 ants were playing football in a saucer.
One ant said to another one, “We'll have to play better tomorrow. We're playing in the cup!”
The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.
Helen Keller fell down a well. She screamed and screamed until she was blue in the hands.
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.
How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.
What did the rapist say to his victim?
"Go ahead, call the police. We will see who comes first."
The cat said hi.
A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:
Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"
Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"
Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"
So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world.
How do you make 7 an even number? Take the "s" out!
A pedophile is chatting on the internet: "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"
How did the inkjet printer kill himself?
He drank cyan-ide.
When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.
What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?
Octopied.
Why don't blind people like bungee jumping?
Because it scares the fuck out of dogs!