The jokes
Q. What color were Mohammed Atta’s eyes?
A. Blue, one blue this way and one blue the other way.
Without women, sex would be a pain in the ass.
What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.
Why did Bob go to the store? To bob for apples.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
I'm friends with only 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.
What did the beaver say when it hit the wall?
Dam!
Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?
Priest: Why?
Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.
What is the richest kind of air?
A millionaire.
Why didn't the Japanese guy get a high five?
Logan Paul left him hanging.
What did the lampshade say to the light bulb?
You brighten my day.
What is a pedophile's favorite job?
The mall santa.
Q: Where did Sally go when the bomb went off?
A: Everywhere.
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he's still trying to back out of the driveway.
What’s the difference between grandma getting ran over by a reindeer, and a poor kid’s parents getting ran over by military tractors?
When grandma got ran over by a reindeer, the kids actually gave a sh*t.
Playing a game called 7-Up.
Student: Why can't I use a pencil to tap their fingers?
Teacher: It's cheating!
Student: No! It's the object of the game.
Bully: "I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the shower you can't even see it."
Guy: "No, I see your sister's head."
A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.
Bruh bruh the bruh run bruh stop bruh hi bruh.
It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.
I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.