The jokes
Two Timetravers walk into a bar...
...the bartender then said, "Sorry, we don't serve Timetravers here."
Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?
A: Because they were a racquet!
The joke is me.
Why does air not come down? I think gravity didn't like the Facebook page of air.
What did the skeleton say after dinner?
Bon appétit!
What did one skeleton say to the other?
Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"
Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)
Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."
Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"
Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"
Why can't gay people play Baseball? They can't throw the ball straight.
If the Grinch was an average white thotty b.... girl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6LmcrJq6oo
If the Grinch was an average black girl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYzLo8vjSqI&has_verified=1
Why can't Jordan moan?
Because his parents are in the room next to him. Asleep.
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?
Beets stain your teeth.
What’s the similarity between a penis and a lollipop?
Kids can take both.
What did one alligator say to the other alligator?
"Let’s go for an all-in-one buffet!"
What's the hardest thing about being a pedophile?
Just trying to fit in.
The optimist thinks the glass is half full. The pessimist thinks the glass is half empty. The feminist thinks the glass is raping them.
A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said:
"I have good news and bad news."
The wife said: "What's the good news?"
"We managed to save his arm."
"What's the bad news?"
"We couldn't save the rest of him."
The toilet paper tried to cross the road. He couldn't because he was stuck in a crack.
When you pull out, but the baby's face turns blue.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!
I just came up with a really good deaf people joke! The great thing is that they won't be able to hear it!
Why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face...