The jokes
The gas prices are going up so much that even Hitler is killing himself.
The holy water in this church is of the highest quality: it has been assed by the bishop.
The whole solar system is one big family, right? But everyone circles the sun.
People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn't care about her life.
I don't care about her life either hahahaha!! :)
What’d the fox say when he was asked to describe his wife?
“Hottie hottie hottie hoe!”
Two cows were hiding.
One said: "Moooo."
The other one said: "Shut up! We're hiding!"
When we die we get sent to heaven, but when Stephen Hawking died, he was sent to the cloud.
Have you eaten at the restaurant on the Moon? It's got good food, but no atmosphere.
Do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening.
Put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs.
Your dick is so small it's the size of a tic tac. Oh, that's why your mom's breath was so fresh last night.
Who wants to hear the biggest joke ever?
My life.
I take debt of 25,000 euro. I spend 20,000 in charity, and 5000 euro are left. I pay the debt of 2000 euro and I have to pay now 23,000 euro to bank, and 3000 euro I have in profit, 23,000 +3000 >> 26000 ;)
What's the last thing that went through Curt Cobain's mind?
His teeth.
What has 3 legs, 4 arms, and 5 heads?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
The baby cries when I cut it, but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.
It was a breathtaking experience.
Did you hear the one about the hills?
It was hillarious.
A kid asks his mom, "Mom, how much do you love me?" The mother responds with, "I love you as much as I love your brother." The kid looks confused and says, "But I don't have a brother." The mother smiles and says, "Well, I guess my love is not existing."
What did the bitch say to her sister when she stepped on her toe? Oww, mitosis!
When it is quiet when you're having sex and you ask your partner to "Do the roar!"