The jokes
You're the sriracha to my hoisin sauce.
And together, we are pho-ever.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!!!!!!! Hahahaha. Banta everyone on this site has 0 life and should leave.
Q: What did one atom say to the other?
A: I have my ion you.
What's the difference between Al Qaeda and Ms. Frizzle? One flew a plane into the Twin Towers; one flew a bus into the school.
What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.
What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?
Santa stops at 3 hoes.
Guys, there is no need to worry about anti-vaxxers. The more there are, the less there are.
How do you start a rave?
Throw a flashbang into the epileptic ward of a hospital.
The doctor says, "Your wife is pregnant." The man says that he used a condom and the doctor says, "Yeah, but I didn't."
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, "What do you think about that mad cow disease?"
The other replies, "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole."
When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets seven years of bad luck.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To help Stephen Hawking cross!
Have you heard about the new movie with Stephen Hawking as the star? It's called "Unplugged."
What did the dad say to the kid?
"U got to be kidding me."
Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?
Teacher: 502.
Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
Teacher: No, you can't fit an elephant in a fridge!!
Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.
Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: open door, put giraffe in, close door
Student: No! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.
Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one?
Teacher: let me guess the lion?
Student: No! The giraffe because He's in a fridge.
Teacher: WOW!
Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?
Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?
Student: The gators are at the party.
Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?
Teacher: She drowned?!
Student: No! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
What's the most unrealistic part of Harry Potter?
A ginger with friends.
Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street."
What did the meditating egg say?
A) Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmlet!
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the street?
He didn’t; he never did.
What did the fish say to the other fish? "You have a big butt!"
The other fish said, "We don't have butts......"