The jokes
What is the difference between a human and a tree? A human can walk, and a tree 🌳 cannot walk.
Why did the boy not cross the road?
Because he was on thin ice.
What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?
You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.
What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?
Kids won't eat broccoli.
I once tried to have a family friendly conversation with a worm, but it kept its head in the dirt.
I once went to the bank with some raisins because I wanted to set up a current account.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to Birds Eye.
Why did the one-eyed chicken cross the road?
To get to Birds Eye.
What did the girl say to the man with a moustache?
I moustache you a question.
So the horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"
UwU
What did the French Fry 🍟 say to the Hamburger 🍔?
I guess that’s a wrap!
Why didn't the bear leave home?
He could not bear leaving his family.
How do you punish Helen Keller? Just move the couch.
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
How do we know that the ocean is friendly? It waves.
Nobody:
The Vietcong when America lands on their beaches:
tReE pOwErS aCtIvAtE!
What did the orphan say to the parent?
Oh, wait!
Why did the frog cross the road?
To show his gang that he had guts.
What did one Koala say to the other?
"Help me I'm burning. Aaaugh!!! Oh fuck oh fuck I'm on fire!! AAAAaugh!"