The jokes
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
When my mom said you have to listen to classical music at my new school, I had to listen to it twenty-four seven. After that, I sang the song [with] the wrong melody for my music teacher 😎
Laila has 69 boobs, but that is 222 too many. One day, she went on 51st Street to meet Dr. X, who ate all her boobs, and now she's boobless :)
6922251 x 8 = 55378008. Put the calculator upside down.
When I was little, I used to think that the people in cartoons were real people...until I turned 7. I realized that it was just people doing voices. Sad, isn't it?
How did Helen Keller lose her arm? She tried to read the stop sign at 100 MPH.
Helen Keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.
Why can't Chinese do anything? The government won't let them.
I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.
You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.
What did the rope say to me?
"Hey there man, you wanna hang later?"
Why is the eagle a bird with many skills? Because it’s talon-ted!
Why is Mercury so hot? I know, because the sun is killing Mercury.
Who are the fastest readers of mankind?
The victims of 9/11, they went through dozens of stories in a couple of seconds.
Why is there A/C in hospitals?
So the vegetables stay nice and fresh.
A teacher asked his students a math question.
"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"
After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.
"One dollar!" she said.
When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.
I don't like the word "gun".
Whenever I say it, people always get triggered.
Everybody misses Xxxtentacion, but the bullet didn't...
What did the orphan's mom say to him when he got into trouble?
Nothing, because he doesn't know his parents...
A block of gold walked into a bar. The bartender said, “AU, get out!”