The jokes
A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."
Two friends wanting to find out if their buddy was gay.
The two walked up to their buddy and said, "Get down!" and he kneeled down.
What did the Cheetah say to the Lion?
"I'm a Cheetah!"
What does the orphan have in common with Batman? They both lost their parents.
I'm lonely, but all I have is my cheeseburger, but what is the matter of living if you only have one thing?
But a cheeseburger is all you need 'cause it has 1,000,000,000,000 bucks man, so I can't just take it and spend it wherever I want.
Why is the orange so blind? Because it needs to take Vitamin C!
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
What happens when an alien connects with your device?
The alien says on your device: ".-- . / - .-. .- ...- . .-.. / ..-. .-. --- -- / -- .- -. -.-- / -- .- -. -.-- / --. .- .-.. .- -..- -.-- ..."
What the hell is this website? Do you all think these jokes are funny?
First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!" SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?" HE: "I’m a butcher." SHE: "Perfect! I work with humans, I just kill them by cutting them up!"
HE: "So it's you in the newspaper?" SHE: "Yes, it was, wanna be next?" HE: "No!"
What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
R2 Detour.
Yo mama so ugly, it made the world stop spinning.
Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends, the holder of the nation's purse, Fishi Rucksack, will launch a new initiative.
This will be to help the struggling "personal services" industry and will be labelled, "Sleep out to Help out."
What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful.
What’s the difference between Apple and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
What is the biggest joke ever? Trump.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because he wanted to. :) :) :)
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They put her in a circle room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
What do you call a clown that is allergic to strawberries?
...Ollie the clown!