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The jokes

Why can Michael Jackson not play chess? Because he can't pick which side he is on, the white or black side.

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    • The depressed kid getting bullied.

    The bully: "You are useless."

    The depressed kid: "I know."

    What's the difference between a porn star and a mosquito?

    One stops sucking when you smack it.

    3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?

    Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!

    My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.

    Hey guys, starting tomorrow, I will put one letter of the "doin your mom" song every day. Can I finish the song?

    Also, I might be in Fortnite, hehehehehe.

    Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.

    Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?

    Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.

    Do you guys know how to make a hoe in Minecraft?

    You pick it up off the street.

    When a fat person wants to kill themselves, why are they so worried? The diabetes will get to them sooner or later!

    What is the best way to make a leaf?

    Go down, back around, and stir up a tree. Make it spin, watch again. Oven baking, ding, we're done!

    What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.

    What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."