The jokes
Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?
I give you 31 because we will do the 69 later, thanks.
This whole string is really messed up. Y'all should be ashamed of yourselves. I just heard the audio recording of the crash and it said, "HE'S ON FIRE! BOOM SHAKALAKA!"
What's the worst thing to star in?
An amber alert.
It's not that I don't get the laugh, but most of you need to read through what's already been posted, 'cause everybody's saying the same sh*t.
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning building.
Priest: What about the children, Rabbi?
Rabbi: Fuck the children!
Priest: Do we have time?
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
When the school shooter finds you under the table,
"Wonderful weather we're having!"
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the gay (guys/girls) house.
(Wait awhile) then ask “knock knock?” Other person says “Who’s there?”
A: The chicken.
What is the Mexican police number?
9 Juan Juan.
At first, I didn't like Big Ben, but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable!
Why do they call it abortion? Because they aborted the mission.
when Ted Bundy found out he was getting the death penalty, he was pretty shocked...
What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?
My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.
So, I was going out the door and I see my dwarf neighbor at the bus stop. I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with "fu.. off." So, I zip up my backpack and keep going to work.
How did the cheetah greet other animals?
Cheetah: "Nice to eat you."
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
What did the terrorist say to the 72 virgins?
"Just so you know, 5 inches is REALLY big!"
A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and says, "Who the fuck's been fucking my wife?" The room goes silent. The guy in the back finishes his beer and says, "You ain't got enough bullets."