The jokes
Orphan: I'm an orphan.
Technoblade: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!
My dad owns a countertop store and sometimes he'll barter.
A lot of the time he will take things for granite.
A lot of counter-offers were made.
Have you ever seen that weird ad that pops up at the bottom: sexy Russian babes looking for men older than 30, and they're 18, so is it a reverse pedo? Oh well.
Have you heard of the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?
See if these nuts fit in your mouth.
My mates threw nuts at the wall, now we call them walnuts.
Hahaha :)
Why did Beyoncé say, "to the left, to the left"?
Because women don't have rights.
China shouldn't play baseball because that would take out the whole world with one bat.
What did the cop say after he shot the ginger?
"I guess orange is the new black."
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad did not beat cancer.
What is the difference between an Orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, Had some fun. She forgot her pill, And now we have Jonny!
Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: “Holes gonna be big.”
So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pal of water. Me: incorrect, two pals of water, one to refresh from running up a hill and the one you went to get. I’m sick af from these stories.
Ah, son of a bitch, I got the truth stuck on my shoe?!?!
The truth: Breast feeding is like having long sex with your baby. God dammit, I hate the truth!
You're so ugly Bob the Builder cat can fix you.
Why do orphans always have water in their cereal? Because the dad never came back with the milk.