The jokes
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
Why did the cow cross the road? Because he was riding the chicken!
One day every kid at the orphanage got coal for Christmas. It was the second worst day of their lives.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple actually gets picked.
I got sent out of a library for putting a women's rights book in the fiction section.
Gay sex is a real pain in the ass.
When rejected:
That's ok, the 3 other little pigs said no, too.
My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.
What movie do orphans hate? The Fast and the Furious.
Nothing is funny about the Name who died an agonizing death, was mocked, spit on, and humiliated all because we were sinners and God saved us so we could be free from the punishment of sin.
Jesus is sinless and perfect and loving. How dare you!
Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.
Your mum was so poor that she went to rob the bank, but she left because she couldn't find the cameras. She left her son, and the security [girl] gave him the camera.
So I was being robbed, and this guy had the gun to my head, so I told him he was holding it backwards.
What would the main character from Martin Scorsese's Taxi Driver be named if he was a Mexican?
Travis Spick-le.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to his owner.
I think I found the worst joke in life. For me, it's that I have always been unwanted and alone for my whole life, and I've never even been in a relationship with anyone, and I'm 31 years old, and I also know that deep down, I'm always going to be alone and unhappy. All I get out of life is seeing everyone else with someone and knowing it will never happen for me. I think that's the worst joke I can think of... LIFE.
Still living when you know you'll never find someone to be with.
I apologize with the wording to this; it's another thing I am a failure at.
Feel free to comment.
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
ā Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.
Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?
Jm: Excujjimi?
Jk: No offense, Jim.
Jm: Yah, call me hyung!
Jk: But I'm bigger.
Jm: I'm older!
Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.
Jm:......
Me: Gay puns are the best!
Also me: But I'm straight though.
If all the class are straight but you think that someone is hiding that he's gay, you're an investiGAYtor.