The jokes
Why did the rapper bring a broom on stage?
To sweep the competition!
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because they could always count on their beats!
My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.
He swears by it, but he’s in denial.
Why does the president take so long to deliver each sentence?
He’s just Biden his time.
The man who invented Velcro died.
RIP.
If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.
Why did the rapper bring a telescope to the studio?
To see his FUTURE in the STARS.
What did the rapper say when he broke his mic?
"Looks like I dropped the mic... literally!"
Why did the rapper take a shower before the concert?
To WASH AWAY the haters!
Why did the rapper become a banker?
Because he wanted to make some BIG BANK DEPOSITS!
Why did the rapper go to school?
To master the art of RAP-LETICS!
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.
I never forget my grandpa's last words.
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.
I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."
Better Friday the 13th than Monday the 13th.
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad.
They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?
They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."