The jokes

What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?

A rhyme scheme that's all about the Benjamins!

Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.

During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly... and for the same reason.

Trump and Biden didn’t get the memo.

I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy and then I was arrested for assault.

The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.

They say the only curves Daveon likes are on his credit card statements.

Daveon is so straight, he thinks a straight line is the shortest distance between two points and nothing else.

Daveon is so straight, he can't even handle a slight bend in the road.

A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.

Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."

Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."

I arrived at a restaurant early and the manager said, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I said, "I don’t mind," and he said, "OK. Take these trays to table 9."

Yesterday I purchased a world map and told my wife to throw a dart, and wherever it lands, I will take her. Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.

Why did the rapper bring a shovel to the studio?

Because he was digging for those UNDERGROUND BEATS!