The jokes
Why can’t an orphan go on the field trip?
Answer: They don’t have a parent’s signature.
Some boy says 100000 digits of pi, and this other dude can't even remember the 1st one.
How to Make an Orphan cry
Step 1: Talk about Home.
Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.
Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!
Why can't orphans cross the street? Because they can't go home.
I was in an audition for the lead role of movie "Aquaman." The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.
Shame on you Penaldo for destroying my dream!
Look at my name and you'll see the joke (read it out loud).
Who says “white men can't jump?” They certainly did when the twin towers were falling.
Tis the season to be spooky.
A girl walks in the room. She asks her mom, "Why's my name Flower?" Her mom said, "When you were born, a flower fell on your head." Brick walks in the room. Jasvidnqzkdvsosbd.
Why can't I talk in the dark?
Because I'm anonymous.
Why did the orphan become a criminal?
Because he wanted to actually be wanted.
Why can't pirates play cards in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
Why are the English so good at chess? Because their Queen never dies.
Why are the Americans good at Rubik's cubes? Because they have a long history of separating colors.
Why are Americans bad at chess? Because they have already lost two towers.
It hasn't been the same since Kobe died. I can't say "Kobe" anymore when going to shoot a shot. Now I have to say, "Kobe crash!"
Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."
My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.
What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
My grief counselor died the other day.
He was so good at his job, I don't even care.