The jokes
Wheels on the bus go round and round Round and round round and round Wheels on the bus go round and round All through the town.
Horn on the bus goes beep beep beep Beep beep beep beep beep beep Horn on the bus goes beep beep beep All through the town.
The sheep on the bus goes baa baa baa Baa baa baa baa baa baa The sheep on the bus goes baa baa baa All through the town.
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
I'm torn on the issue of abortion. I'm pro-abortion because it kills babies, but I'm against abortion because it gives women a choice.
TRUE STORY!
X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I've ever seen.
I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her!
Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!
What world record did the people in 9/11 get?
The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.
how do you cut of a hillbilly's dick?
kick his sister in the jaw
What did one orphan say to the other?
Quick, Robin! To the Batmobile!
A man and a child walk into a forest.
The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."
The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."
A man walks up to Lil Johnny one day and asks, "If you had one wish, but that wish will be granted to everyone on Earth... what would it be?"
So Lil Johnny thinks real hard and long, then said, "Well, I would wish for me to shit myself."
The man is shocked and asks why, and Lil Johnny replies, "Well, I would be on the toilet. I think everyone else would just be confused!"
Everyone: So, wait, let me get this straight. Feminists want to cancel Father's Day because it is offensive to single mothers.
Feminists: Correct.
Everyone: Then what the f*** is the point of Mother's Day?
What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
"Go fuck yourself... at the bottom of the sea."
The only joke here is the topic.
What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy?
"Shhhhhhh, this might hurt a little."
What are the similarities between a pedophile and a 9/11 plane?
They both came from behind and crushed them.
What did the tissue wear?
A shoe.
There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her, "Hey, what’s going on? Why are you crying? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers, then my mother, and raped my sister."
The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breechcloth, then said, “Guess this isn’t your day, is it?”
What is the most played game in Africa?
The Hunger Games.
A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”
The emo kid ran away after his parents asked why they took the barcode sticker off the Oreos.
"Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way."
"Dr. Squatch will heal the itch, and know it goes away, hey!"