Taken jokes
Ever since convicted New York State felon Donald John Trump has taken office, the Canada-US border has been a mess of tariffs, counter-tariffs and boycotts.
And where does it end? I just got served a salad with 500 Islands in the dressing instead of a thousand. The price was the same.
In the morning, I become a cereal killer. Stepped on a corn flake.
Then there was the run-in with a pair of orphaned Rice Krispies. Snap. Crackle. No pop.
I've been taken into custody as a cereal offender and am about to be put on trial in Food Court. I fully expect them to sentence me to Life.
What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven
Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere
Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.
Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?
Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.
Qualification Check:
Single
Taken
Friended ✔
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."
What do feminists and dogs share in common? They need to be taken to obedience school.
Why are feminist rape claims never taken seriously? Nobody wants to rape fat, hairy gorillas.
When Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital, immediately the maternity ward was put on lockdown.
Get a calculator.
Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.
Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!
"My name is 4, four like the number," my friend said. "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"
I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn't want her, why would I?
Why is death taken so lightly?
Because you can take it so quickly.
Why aren't women taken seriously in the world? They are too busy whining about getting raped.