Why did the pencil want to kill himself?
He had no point in life.
Stationery Jokes
"Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable."
What did the pencil say to the sharpener? Please grind me!
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
Do trees shit?
Well, how else would we get #2 pencils?
What do you call a piece of paper? A piece of paper.
What does a pencil and a plan have in common?
They were both in the Twin Towers.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil? It's pointless.
What are you willing to write in your notebook? These nuts.
What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT.
What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK.
My brother wanted to sharpen my pencil. I told him he had a point.
I got a job as a pencil sharpener. I would tell you about it, but you wouldn't get the point.
What is the leader of the school supplies?
The ruler!
"Paper is 2D!" said Pen.
"No, it's 3D!" said Pencil.
After Pencil proved it to Pen, Pen said, "Oh, I suppose you're write."
Do you want to hear a joke about the blunt pencil? Never mind, it's pointless.
I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...
But it’s quite pointless.
I brought a new pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.
I was going to tell you a joke about a pencil, but now it is pointless.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.