SOS jokes
So I walked into this bar and thought, "Wow, this is a dull joke."
I don't like jokes.
My joke is so diam funny, or so damn funny.
The gas prices are going up so much that even Hitler is killing himself.
People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn't care about her life.
I don't care about her life either hahahaha!! :)
Your dick is so small it's the size of a tic tac. Oh, that's why your mom's breath was so fresh last night.
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.
Why does everyone like couch jokes?
Because they are sofa-nny (so funny)!
Your mama is so fat that when she wears yellow, kids run after her thinking they missed the school bus.
Your mama is so stupid, she bought tickets for Xbox Live.
Your mama is so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
Your mama is so stupid that when she heard drinks were on the house, she grabbed a ladder.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
My boyfriend recently asked me to suck his cock. I was kinda nervous because I’ve never tasted a dick, but he said it doesn’t taste that bad, so I’ll give it a shot.
I'm so poor that I had to rob a food bank for a loaf of bread.
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
Imagine the Russians showing up late to the 1917 revolution with a Tsarbucks in hand. They were late, so I guess they weren't Russian. They were probably Stalin.
Why are hill billies so weird? Because their name is Billy.
My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and he just sat in his wheelchair and cried.