SOS jokes

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to start to build the still for Jill.

Jack stopped and said to drunkin' Jill, "To build this still will take so long."

Jill said to Jack, "Well, f--k the still and kiss my ass, and watch me take another pill!"

A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.

You know what they say: "Location, location, location." So my dad stuck a thermometer up his butt, and now he has degrees.

Do you want to know why I hired a protractor to tutor my nephew in IIROC? Because he has degrees. 180 of them. So he's smar[t].

My new stepfather told me that I'm his new son, so I said okay.

My stepfather said that my and your mom have a few things in common. I said, "Yeah, like what?" My stepfather said, "Well, you came out of your mother's pussy; I eat your mother's pussy. You used to suck on your mother's tits; now I suck on your mother's tits. Your mother used to smack you in the ass when you act up; now I smack your mom in the ass now. Your mother calls me daddy; now I am your new daddy."

I saw a trophy in my sister's room. So I said congratulations on your cheer leading. My sister said I didn't win the trophy for cheer leading, so I asked why. My sister said I won because I give the best jobs.

My sister keeps cursing... so I made fun of her... "fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk", fowl language is for chickens!

Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom I like your mama's big butt, and I cannot lie. You other brothers can’t deny that she’s fly. We make sexy time, yes and every night I tap that. She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I’m half black. But your moms the best, the super M.I.L.F. Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain’t a chef And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol But if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all. She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed. She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I’ll be honest She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna. She’s so therapeutic. When I need to cure my restlessness I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your moms breastestess. I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song Cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mo-om.

Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom

I’m havin' sex with your mother That makes me better than you. I’m havin' sex with your mother That makes me better than you.

Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom

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    • Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom

    Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom

    Doin' doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom

    You know we straight with doin' your mom

    Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom

    Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom

    Doin' doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom

    You know we straight with doin' your mom

    I’m doin' your mom. Yes yours!

    I first saw her in the Wal-Mart pickin' out your drawers.

    Big Dolly Parton hair like an 80s prom queen

    But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom-jeans.

    I approached her in the checkout line, and said yo baby wassup?

    She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs.

    Five minutes later she agreed to get with me

    So we went and rocked the minivan like Giggity. Giggity. Giggity.

    I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart.

    I gave her a lift back to her crib cause her car wouldn’t start.

    She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.

    How many times I tap that ass? OVER 9000!

    Yeah. She called me Pledge cause I knocked the dust off it.

    She later made me a sandwich and she cut the crust off it.

    Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young

    To be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.

    Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom

    Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom

    Doin' doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom

    You know we straight with doin' your mom

    I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"

    My friend Amir didn’t have the greatest driving record because of all the car crashes he got in. He only crashed his plane once in a building, so he had a much better flying record.

    I'm so mad I got arrested for rape, even though the girl never said no. The prosecution said she was mute, but how was I supposed to know? She never told me.

    She’s so therapeutic.

    When I need to cure my restlessness, I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess!