SOS jokes

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Your Momma's so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.

Friend 1: Eyyy gurl

Me: Hey! (Fake smile)

Friend 2: Hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather?

6 hours later

Friend 2: So (name) would u rather? 1. "Hang" out with me Or 2. "Jump" 1 times?

Me...e-eh?...Why not both????? We could just "Jump" while "Hanging" out right?

Yo mama so dumb, she tried to put m&m's in alphabetical order.

So, there was this cop on the top bunk of a bunk bed.

Another cop walks in and sits on the bottom bunk and the cop on the top bunk bed said, "You're under a-rest."

Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"

joe: Are your mom and dad nice?

zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.

joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.

Your mama is so fat, when she went camping, the bears hid their food from her.

Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Orphan: What's a mama?

Random kid: *shook*

My friends: Ugh, why are you so lazy and no fun?

My parents: Why can't you be like your siblings?

My teacher: I don't care if you're depressed, focus on your study!

The songs: We understand you :)

  • 9

    • My mom said to take out the trash bags, so I did. And the next day, my mom asked, "Where are your sisters?" I said, "In line to get crushed."

    There is a really, really small guy and his name is Adam, so I say, "Hey, look, it's an atom!"

    My friend said, "Dude, if you don't put your desk in line with the column, you're gay." So he did it, and I said, "Well, I guess now he's straight." ;D